The End and What Happens After
by amberlizabeth
Summary: My desperate hope for what happens at this wedding. Also I can't write anything that isn't about these idiots.


This is how it ends. You can feel it in the way your blood runs cold. Something is slipping out of you. The edges of your vision go fuzzy.

You've almost died a thousand times, but it has never felt like this. And that's because this is how it ends.

It ends with her walking away, heels clacking on the pavement. It ends with a cold look in her eyes. She has never looked at you like that before. It doesn't end with good-bye. Felicity walks away and there is nothing more left.

She leaves you standing with no more air in your lungs. Nothing beats in your chest. Honestly, you can't remember if you gave her your heart or if she took it by force. You are certain that it doesn't matter anymore. Either way, it's hers now.

So this, you think, is death. Still walking and talking and fighting, but you are just a ghost. She looks right through you even when she's talking to you. It turns out that death is a lot worse than you thought. Because it turns out that death is life without her.

You try not to make it a big deal. The fact that you're dead shouldn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You watch as the world continues without you. People die, people live, people move on, and you're just a shadow in the background. Sometimes, when she isn't paying attention, you watch her. Felicity is different. She looks the same, babbles the same, but she's not the girl you used to know. Whether or not she's the girl you fell in love with is another matter. Maybe you fell in love with who she was going to be. Or maybe she was changing as you fell in love with her. Or maybe you just finally see her.

It's funny that you're seeing her for real now and she won't even look at you.

That was how it ended. Your death caused by her leaving. It ends with you standing in the shadows and her sitting on a throne. It ends quietly and more painfully than any sword in the gut.

That was how it ended. And this is how it starts again.

You've been moving like the shell of your former self. Making all the wrong moves to try and save everyone else. Which is really nothing new except you aren't really you anymore, at least not without her. She can be in the same room with you and still feel a million miles away.

It starts again with a wedding. And you are the best man. How a dead guy gets to be in a wedding party is a mystery to you, but Diggle insists. You have to give a speech and pretend to be alive for a few hours. For the first time in a long time, you have to be Oliver Queen again. Even though you aren't sure what that means anymore.

"I just wanted to say," You are speaking to a room full of people and still feel invisible. She will not look at you. "That I know what love is and I know what it's like to lose it. I'm glad to be here celebrating with John and Lyla. So…here's to true love and holding on tightly to it."

There is clapping and you swear Diggle tears up. More out of habit than anything else, you search for her face in the room. You are always trying to find her even though you know she won't be looking back.

Except this time, she is. Felicity is look right at you, right into your eyes. It feels like coming home from the island. It feels like breathing. It feels like living.

You've come back from the dead before. You've survived worse injuries than Felicity Smoak breaking your heart. This is the first time that you really feel like you've come back to life though. Maybe everything else was just practice.

This is how it starts, living again, with Felicity coming towards you. And yes, she is with Ray Palmer. That stings a little, but there is something in her eyes that you haven't seen in a while. Whatever hurt you feel about seeing her with Palmer is completely erased when she smiles at you.

"Good speech," she says. "You have a good mouth…I mean you're really good with your…forget it."

"Thanks Felicity," you say, savoring this moment with her. "Nice to see you, Ray."

You bite back any smart ass comments like, "How's my company?" or "Thanks for keeping my girlfriend safe." It's counter productive to your overall goal here, which is to keep her smiling.

"Good to see you, Oliver."

They shake hands and Ray grips a little too hard. You think of at least 3 ways you could break his hand without her noticing, but you decide to be the bigger person. Ray's phone chirps. When he checks it a crease appears in his forehead. Oliver knows that look all too well.

"Felicity," Ray says releasing your hand. "Thanks for inviting me, but, uh, I've got to get back to the office."

You aren't quite sure what happens next because you're too busy watching her. All you can see is long blonde hair and her smile. Suddenly you find yourself standing alone with her. Your mind goes blanks and your hands get sweaty.

"You wanna dance?" You hear yourself ask and in the moment before she answers you think you've died again.

"Yeah," she says. "I'd like that."

It's an awkward walk to the dance floor. All you want is to hold her hand and pull her close and never let her go again. Instead you keep your distance. You know that this is it, a second chance. This is how it starts and you are not going to fuck it up this time.

She puts her arms around your neck and you let your hands settle on her waist. You hope she doesn't notice your sweaty palms or how loud your heart is pounding. A smile crosses her lips and it makes your heart race. Then she giggles.

"What is so funny?"

"This is just like prom," she says still laughing. "Only with more assassins."

You are not much of a laugher. Not since all the almost-deaths and the endless stream of bad crap you've seen. Felicity has always had a way of pulling that one laugh from you.

This is how it starts, with the two of you giggling uncontrollably on the dance floor. She's leaning against you because she is laughing so hard she can't stand up on her own. You haven't laughed like this in years. It hurts in the best way. It hurts like loving her sometimes hurts. Your cheeks are burning because you've been smiling too long.

You feel alive for the first time since Ra's stabbed you in the gut. You've just been going through the motions until this moment. It all comes on you at once. Felicity is in your arms. Roy and Thea are across the room smiling at each other. Even Laurel looks relatively happy, chatting up some guy with a glass of water in her hand. Diggle is dancing with his wife, but you know he's been watching this play out. Felicity is here and smiling at you.

"I missed you, I missed this."

She says nothing back, but she steps in a little closer. You take that as a good sign.

"Since I've been back," you say. "I've felt…like I haven't really been here. Like a ghost. I don't want to be a ghost. I want to…I want you. I want this. I want to be alive."

She rests her forehead on your chest and something wet drops on your shirt. There is a sinking feeling in your chest. You don't want to have lived just to die again. Your arms tighten around her waist, desperate to keep her here a little longer.

Felicity moves her head so she can look at you. Tears are still running down her face, but she's smiling.

"Oliver," she says. "I missed you, too."

And that's how it starts. It starts with a wedding, a speech, and a kiss on the dance floor.


End file.
